How to Read Body Language free essay sample

About the Authors Other Books by Joe Navarro with Marvin Karlins Credits Cover Copyright About the Publisher See What You’re Thinking Marvin Karlins, Ph. D. T he man sat stoically at one end of the table, carefully crafting his replies to the FBI agent’s inquiries. He wasn’t considered a major suspect in the murder case. His alibi was believable and he sounded sincere, but the agent pressed on nevertheless. With the suspect’s consent, he was asked a series of questions about the murder weapon: â€Å"If you had committed this crime, would you have used a gun? â€Å"If you had committed this crime, would you have used a knife? † â€Å"If you had committed this crime, would you have used an ice pick? † â€Å"If you had committed this crime, would you have used a hammer? † One of the weapons, the ice pick, had actually been used in the commission of the crime, but that information had been kept from the public. We will write a custom essay sample on How to Read Body Language or any similar topic specifically for you Do Not WasteYour Time HIRE WRITER Only 13.90 / page Thus, only the killer would know which object was the real murder weapon. As the FBI agent went down the list of weapons, he vii   observed the suspect carefully. When the ice pick was mentioned, the man’s eyelids came down hard and stayed down until the next weapon was named. The agent instantly understood the significance of the eyelid behavior he had witnessed, and from that moment forward the â€Å"minor† suspect became the primary person of interest in the investigation. He later confessed to the crime. Chalk one up for Joe Navarro, a remarkable human being who, in addition to unmasking the ice-pick killer, is credited with catching scores of criminals, including â€Å"master spies,† in a distinguished twenty-fiveyear career with the FBI. How was he able to do this? If you asked him, he quietly would say, â€Å"I owe it to being able to read people. Joe, it turns out, has spent his entire professional life studying, refining, and applying the science of nonverbal communications—facial expressions, gestures, physical movements (kinesics), body distance (proxemics), touching (haptics), posture, even clothing—to decipher what people are thinking, how they intend to act, and whether their pronouncements are true or false. This is not good news for criminals, terrorists, and spies, who, under his careful scrutiny, usually give off more than enough nonverbal body signals (â€Å"tells†) to make their thoughts and intentions transparent and detectable. It is, however, very good news for you, the reader, because the very same nonverbal knowledge Joe relied on to become a master â€Å"Spycatcher,† â€Å"human lie detector,† and instructor at the FBI is what he will be sharing with you so you can better understand the feelings, thoughts, and intentions of those around you. As a renowned author and educator, Joe will teach you how to observe like an expert, detecting and deciphering the nonverbal behaviors of others so you can interact with them more successfully. For business or for pleasure, this knowledge will enrich and magnify your life. Much of what Joe will be sharing with you in this book was not even recognized fifteen years ago by the scientific community. It is only through recent advances in brain-scan technology and neural imaging that scientists have been able to establish the validity of the behaviors Joe will be describing. Drawing from the latest discoveries in psychology,   viii neurobiology, medicine, sociology, criminology, communication studies, and nthropology—plus his quarter century of experience using nonverbal behavior in his work as an FBI Special Agent—Joe is uniquely qualified to help you succeed in your understanding of nonverbal communications. His expertise is recognized and sought worldwide. Besides being interviewed regularly on programs such as NBC’s Today Show, CNN Headline News, Fox Cable News, and ABC’s Good Morning America, he continues to conduct seminars on nonverbal communication for the FBI and the CIA, as well as for other members of the intelligence community. He is a consultant to the banking and insurance industries as well as to major law firms in the United States and abroad. Joe also teaches at Saint Leo University and at various medical schools throughout the United States, where his unique insights into nonverbal communication have found a receptive audience among many, including physicians desiring to assess patients with greater speed and accuracy. Joe’s combination of academic skills and occupational credentials—coupled with his masterful analysis of nonverbal communications in reallife, high-stakes situations—has placed him apart and in the forefront of nonverbal expertise, as you will discover in this book. After working with Joe, attending his seminars, and putting his ideas to work in my own life, I firmly believe that the material in these pages represents a major advance in our understanding of all things nonverbal. I say this as a trained psychologist who got involved in this writing project because I was excited by Joe’s pioneering work in harnessing the scientific knowledge of nonverbal communications to achieve professional objectives and personal success. I was also impressed by his reasoned, careful approach to the topic. For example, while observing nonverbals allows us to get an â€Å"accurate read† on many kinds of behavior, Joe warns us that using body language to detect deception is a particularly difficult and challenging task. This is a significant insight—rarely recognized by laypeople or by the law enforcement community—and serves as a critical and poignant reminder to be very careful before you declare a person to be honest or dishonest based on his nonverbal behaviors. ix Unlike many other books on nonverbal behavior, the information presented herein is based on scientific facts and field-tested findings rather than on personal opinion and armchair speculations. Further, the text highlights what other published works often ignore: the critical role played by the limbic system of the human brain in understanding and using nonverbal cues effectively. The silent language of the body can be yours to master. Whether you are studying nonverbals because you want to get ahead in your job or simply want to get along better with friends and family, this book is designed for you. Gaining proficiency will require a careful examination of the chapters that follow, plus a commitment to spend some serious time and energy learning and applying Joe’s teachings in your daily routines. Reading people successfully—learning, decoding, and utilizing nonverbal behavior to predict human actions—is a task well worth your attention, one that offers ample rewards for the effort expended. So plant your feet firmly on the floor, turn to the next page, and get ready to learn and watch for those all-important nonverbal behaviors that Joe will be teaching you. It won’t be long before you discover, with just a glance, what every body is saying.   When I started writing the early drafts of this book, I realized that this project had been long in the making. It did not start with my interest in reading about nonverbal behavior, nor in pursuing it academically, nor in the FBI. Rather, in a real sense, it started with my family many years earlier. I learned to read others primarily from the teachings of my parents, Albert and Mariana Lopez, and my grandmother, Adelina Paniagua Espino. Each in his or her own way taught me something different about the significance and power of nonverbal communications. From my mother, I learned that nonverbals are invaluable in dealing with others. A subtle behavior, she taught me, can avert an awkward situation or can make someone completely comfortable—a skill she has performed effortlessly all of her life. From my father, I learned the power of expression; He is a man who commands respect, just by being. And from my grandmother, to whom I dedicate this book, I learned that small behaviors have great significance: a smile, a head tilt, a gentle touch at the right time can convey so much; it can even heal. These things they taught me every day, and in so doing, prepared me to observe more aptly the world around me. Their teachings as well as those of many others are found in these pages. While I was at Brigham Young University, J. Wesley Sherwood, Richard Townsend, and Dean Clive Winn II taught me much about police work and observing criminals. Later, in the FBI, people such as Doug Gregory, Tom Riley, Julian â€Å"Jay† Koerner, Dr. Richard Ault, and David G. Major taught me the subtle nuances of counterintelligence and espionage behavior. To them I am grateful for sharpening my peoplewatching skills. Similarly, I have to thank Dr. John Schafer, former FBI agent and fellow member of the bureau’s elite Behavioral Analysis Program, who encouraged me to write and allowed me to be his coauthor on multiple occasions. Marc Reeser, who was with me in the trenches catching spies for so long, also deserves my recognition. To my other colleagues, and there were many in the National Security Division of the FBI, I thank you for all your support. Over the years, the FBI ensured we were taught by the best, and so at the hands of professors Joe Kulis, Paul Ekman, Maureen O’Sullivan, Mark Frank, Bella M. DePaulo, Aldert Vrij, Reid Meloy, and Judy Burgoon I learned about the research on nonverbal communications directly or through their writings. I developed a friendship with many of these individuals, including David Givens, who heads the Center for Nonverbal Studies in Spokane, Washington, and whose writings, teachings, and admonitions I have taken to heart. Phil Quinn at the University of Tampa and to Professor Barry Glover, at Saint Leo University, for their years of friendship and willingness to accommodate my busy travel schedule. This book would not be the same without photographs, and for that I am grateful for the work of renowned photographer Mark Wemple. My gratitude also goes out to Ashlee B. Castle, my administrative assistant, who, when asked if she was willing to make faces for a book, merely said, â€Å"Sure, why not? † You guys are great. I also want to thank Tampa artist David R. Andrade for his illustrations. One of the first things I noticed was that students or teachers who genuinely liked me would raise (or arch) their eyebrows when they first saw me walk into the room. On the other hand, those individuals who weren’t too friendly toward me would squint their eyes slightly when I appeared—a behavior that once observed is never forgotten. I used this nonverbal information, as so many other immigrants have, quickly to evaluate and develop friendships, to communicate despite the obvious language barrier, to avoid enemies, and in nurturing healthy relationships. Many years later I would use these same nonverbal eye behaviors to solve crimes as a special agent at the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) (see box 1). Based on my background, education, and training, I want to teach you to see the world as an FBI expert on nonverbal communication views it: as a vivid, dynamic environment where every human interaction resonates with information, and as an opportunity to use the silent language of the body to enrich your knowledge of what people are thinking, feeling, and intending to do. Using this knowledge will help you stand out among others. Squinting (as in the case with my classmates, described above) and closing or shielding our eyes are actions that have evolved to protect the brain from â€Å"seeing† undesirable images and to communicate our disdain toward others. As an investigator, I used eye-blocking behaviors to assist in the arson investigation of a tragic hotel fire in Puerto Rico that claimed ninety-seven lives. A security guard came under immediate suspicion because the blaze broke out in an area where he was assigned. One of the ways we determined he had nothing to do with starting the fire was by asking him some very specific questions as to where he was before the fire, at the time of the fire, and whether or not he set the fire. After each question I observed his face for any telltale signs of eye-block behavior. His eyes blocked only when questioned about where he was when the fire started. Oddly, in contrast, he did not seem troubled by the question, â€Å"Did you set the fire? † This told me the real issue was his location at the time of the fire, not his possible involvement in setting the fire. He was questioned further on this topic by the lead investigators and eventually admitted to leaving his post to visit his girlfriend, who also worked at the hotel. Unfortunately, while he was gone, the arsonists entered the area he should have been guarding and started the fire. In this case, the guard’s eye-blocking behavior gave us the insight we needed to pursue a line of questioning that eventually broke the case open. In the end, three arsonists responsible for the tragic blaze were arrested and convicted of the crime. The security guard, while woefully negligent and burdened with tremendous guilt, was not, however, the culprit. A suspect in the case was brought in for questioning. His words sounded convincing and his story was plausible. He claimed he hadn’t seen the victim and while out in a field had gone down a row of cotton, turned left, and then walked straight to his house. While my colleagues jotted down notes about what they were hearing, I kept my eyes on the suspect and saw that as he told the story about turning left and going home, his hand gestured to his right, which was exactly the direction that led to the rape scene. One of the fascinating things about an appreciation for nonverbal behavior is its universal applicability. It works everywhere humans interact. Nonverbals are ubiquitous and reliable. Once you know what a specific nonverbal behavior means, you can use that information in any number of different circumstances and in all types of environments. In fact, it is difficult to interact effectively without nonverbals. If you ever wondered why people still fly to meetings in the age of computers, text messages, e-mails, telephones, and video conferencing, it is because of the need to express and observe nonverbal communications in person. The problem is that most people spend their lives looking but not truly seeing, or, as Sherlock Holmes, the meticulous English detective, declared to his partner, Dr. Watson, â€Å"You see, but you do not observe. † Sadly, the majority of individuals view their surroundings with a minimal amount of observational effort. Such people are oblivious to subtle changes in their world. They are unaware of the rich tapestry of details that surrounds them, such as the subtle movement of a person’s hand or foot that might betray his thoughts or intentions. In fact, various scientific studies have demonstrated people to be poor observers of their world. For example, when a man dressed in a gorilla suit walked in front of a group of students while other activities were taking place, half the students didn’t even notice the gorilla in their midst (Simons Chabris, 1999, 1059–1074)! Observation-impoverished individuals lack what airline pilots refer to as â€Å"situational awareness,† which is a sense of where one is at all times; they don’t have a solid mental picture of exactly what is going on around them or even in front of them. Ask them to go into a strange room filled with people, give them a chance to look around, and then tell them to close their eyes and report what they saw. You would be astounded by their inability to recall even the most obvious features in the room. I find it disheartening how often we run into somebody or read about someone who always seems to be blindsided by life’s events. The complaints of these individuals are nearly always the same: â€Å"My wife just filed for divorce. I never had a clue she was unhappy with our marriage. â€Å"The guidance counselor tells me my son has been using cocaine for three years. I had no idea he had a drug problem. After all, as we grow from children to adults, we’re never instructed on how to observe the nonverbal clues of others. There are no classes in elementary school, high school, or college that teach people situational awareness. If you’re lucky, you teach yourself to be more observant. If you don’t, you miss out on an incredible amount of useful information that could help you avoid problems and make your life more fulfilling, be it when dating, at work, or with family. Fortunately, observation is a skill that can be learned. We don’t have to go through life being blindsided. Furthermore, because it is a skill, we can get better at it with the right kind of training and practice. If you are observationally â€Å"challenged,† do not despair. You can overcome your weakness in this area if you are willing to devote time and effort to observing your world more conscientiously. What you need to do is make observation—concerted observation—a way of life. Becoming aware of the world around you is not a passive act. It is a conscious, deliberate behavior—something that takes effort, energy, and concentration to achieve, and constant practice to maintain. Observation is like a muscle. It grows stronger with use and atrophies without use. Exercise your observation muscle and you will become a more powerful decoder of the world around you. By the way, when I speak of concerted observation, I am asking you to utilize all your senses, not just your sense of sight. Whenever I walk into my apartment, I take a deep breath. If things don’t smell â€Å"normal† I become concerned. One time I detected the slight odor of lingering cigarette smoke when I returned home from a trip. My nose alerted me to possible danger well before my eyes could scan my apartment. When trying to understand nonverbal behavior in real-life situations, the more you understand the context in which it takes place, the better you will be at understanding what it means. For example, after a traffic accident, I expect people to be in shock and to walk around looking dazed. I expect their hands to shake and even for them to make poor decisions like walking into oncoming traffic. (This is why officers ask you to stay in your car. ) Why? After an accident, people are suffering the effects of a complete hijacking of the â€Å"thinking† brain by a region of the brain known as the limbic system. The result of this hijacking includes behaviors such as trembling, disorientation, nervousness, and discomfort. In context, these actions are to be expected and confirm the stress from the accident. During a job interview, I expect applicants to be nervous initially and for that nervousness to dissipate. If it shows up again when I ask specific questions, then I have to wonder why these nervous behaviors have suddenly presented again. Commandment 3: Learn to recognize and decode nonverbal behaviors that are universal. Some body behaviors are considered universal because they are exhibited similarly by most people. For instance, when people press their lips together in a manner that seems to make them disappear, it is a clear and common sign that they are troubled and something is wrong. This nonverbal behavior, known as lip compression, is one of the universal tells that I will be describing in the chapters to follow (see box 4). The more of these universal nonverbals you can recognize and accurately interpret, the more effective you will be in assessing the thoughts, feelings, and intentions of those around you. I passed a note to my client, warning him that this particular clause in the contract was contentious or problematic and should be revisited and discussed thoroughly while we were all still together. By confronting the issue then and there—and focusing on the details of the clause in question—the two negotiators were able to hammer out an agreement face-to-face, which ended up saving my client 13. 5 million dollars. The negotiator’s nonverbal signal of displeasure was the key evidence needed to spot a specific problem and deal with it immediately and effectively. The better you know an individual, or the longer you interact with him or her, the easier it will be to discover this information because you will have a larger database upon which to make your judgments. For example, if you note your teenager scratches his head and bites his lip when he is about to take a test, this may be a reliable idiosyncratic tell that speaks of his nervousness or lack of preparation. No doubt this has become part of his repertoire for dealing with stress, and you will see it again and again because â€Å"the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. When you interact with others, try to establish their baseline behaviors. In order to get a handle on the baseline behaviors of the people with whom you regularly interact, you need to note how they look normally, how they typically sit, where they place their hands, the usual position of their feet, their posture and common facial expressions, the tilt of their heads, and even where they generally place or hold their possessions, such as a purse (see figures 1 and 2). You need to be able to differentiate between their â€Å"normal† face and their â€Å"stressed† face. A stressed face is tense and slightly contorted, eyebrows are knitted, and the forehead is furrowed. his or her â€Å"starting position† at the beginning of your interaction. Establishing a person’s baseline behavior is critical because it allows you to determine when he or she deviates from it, which can be very important and informative (see box 5). Commandment 6: Always try to watch people for multiple tells—behaviors that occur in clusters or in succession. Your accuracy in reading people will be enhanced when you observe multiple tells, or clusters of behavior body signals on which to rely. These are behaviors that reveal what a person is about to do and provide the competent observer with extra time to prepare for the anticipated action before it takes place. One personal example of how critical it is to watch for changes in people’s behavior—particularly when the changes involve intention cues— involves an attempted robbery of a store where I worked. In this particular situation, I noticed a man standing near the cash register at the checkout counter, a behavior that caught my attention because he seemed to have no reason to be there; he wasn’t waiting in line and he hadn’t purchased any items. Moreover, the entire time he stood there, his eyes were fixed on the cash register. If he had just remained quietly where he was, I eventually would have lost interest in him and focused my attention elsewhere. However, while I was still observing him, his behavior changed. Specifically, his nostrils starting flaring (nasal wing dilation), which was a giveaway that he was oxygenating in advance of taking some action. I guessed what that action was going to be about a second before it occurred. And a second was all I had to sound a warning. I yelled to the cashier, â€Å"Watch out! as three things happened at once: (a) the clerk finished ringing up a sale, causing the cash drawer to open; (b) the man near the register lunged forward, plunging his hand into the drawer to grab some cash; and (c) alerted by my shouted warning, the cashier grabbed the man’s hand and twisted it, causing the would-be robber to drop the money and run out of the store. Had I not spotted his intention cue, I am sure the thief would have succeeded in his efforts. Incidentally, the cashier was my father, who was running a small hardware store in Miami back in 1974. The human body is capable of giving off literally thousands of nonverbal â€Å"signals† or messages. Which ones are most important and how do you decode them? The problem is that it could take a lifetime of painstaking observation, evaluation, and validation to identify and interpret important nonverbal communications accurately. Fortunately, with the help of some very gifted researchers and my practical experience as an FBI expert on nonverbal behavior, we can take a more direct approach to get you on your way. I have already identified those nonverbal behaviors that are most important, so you can put this unique knowledge to immediate use. We have also developed a paradigm or model that makes reading nonverbals easier. Even if you forget exactly what a specific body signal means, you will still be able to decipher it. As you read through these pages, you will learn certain information about nonverbal behavior that has never been revealed in any other text 18 W H AT E V E R Y B O D Y I S S A Y I N G on body language (including examples of nonverbal behavioral clues used to solve actual FBI cases) Some of the material will surprise you. For example, if you had to choose the most â€Å"honest† part of a person’s body—the part that would most likely reveal an individual’s true feeling or intentions—which part would you select? Take a guess. Once I reveal the answer, you’ll know a prime place to look when attempting to decide what a business associate, family member, date, or total stranger is thinking, feeling, or intending. I will also explain the physiological basis for nonverbal behavior, the role the brain plays in nonverbal behavior. On a fateful date in 1963, in Cleveland, Ohio, thirty-nine-year veteran Detective Martin McFadden watched two men walk back and forth in front of a store window. They took turns peeking into the shop and then walking away. After multiple passes, the two men huddled at the end of the street looking over their shoulders as they spoke to a third person. Concerned that the men were â€Å"casing† the business and intending to rob the store, the detective moved in, patted down one of the men, and found a concealed handgun. Detective McFadden arrested the three men, thus thwarting a robbery and averting potential loss of life. In this book, we will be concentrating on the limbic system of the brain (the part MacLean called the mammalian brain), because it plays the largest role in the expression of our nonverbal behavior. However, we will use our neocortex (our human brain or thinking brain) to analyze critically the limbic reactions of those around us in order to decode what other people are thinking, feeling, or intending (LeDoux, 1996, 184–189; Goleman, 1995, 10–21). It is critical to understand that the brain controls all behaviors, whether conscious or subconscious. This premise is the cornerstone of understanding all nonverbal communications. From simply scratching your head to composing a symphony, there is nothing you do (except for some involuntary muscle reflexes) that is not governed or directed by the brain. By this Fig. 3 Corpus Callosum Neocortex Thalamus Hypothalamus Hippocampus Amygdala Reptilian Brain Cerebellum Diagram of the limbic brain with major features such as the amygdala and the hippocampus. It is from there that signals go out to various other parts of the brain, which in turn orchestrate our behaviors as they relate to emotions or our survival (LeDoux, 1996, 104–137). These behaviors can be observed and decoded as they manifest physically in our feet, torso, arms, hands, and faces. Since these reactions occur without thought, unlike words, they are genuine. Thus, the limbic brain is considered the â€Å"honest brain† when we think of nonverbals (Goleman, 1995, 13–29). These limbic survival responses go back not only to our own infancy, but also to our ancestry as a human species. They are hardwired into our nervous system, making them difficult to disguise or eliminate—like trying to suppress a startle response even when we anticipate a loud noise. Therefore, it is axiomatic that limbic behaviors are honest and reliable behaviors; they are true manifestations of our thoughts, feelings, and intentions (see box 7). The third part of our brain is a relatively recent addition to the cranial vault. Thus it is called the neocortex, meaning new brain. This part of our brain is also known as the â€Å"human,† â€Å"thinking,† or â€Å"intellectual† brain, because it is responsible for higher-order cognition and memory. In reality, the way animals, including humans, react to danger occurs in the following order: freeze, flight, fight. If the reaction really were fight or flight, most of us would be bruised, battered, and exhausted much of the time. Because we have retained and honed this exquisitely successful process for dealing with stress and danger—and because the resulting reactions generate nonverbal behaviors that help us understand a person’s thoughts, feelings, and intentions—it is well worth our time to examine each response in greater detail. The Freeze Response A million years ago, as early hominids traversed the African savanna, they were faced with many predators that could outrun and overpower them. For early man to succeed, the limbic brain, which had evolved from our animal forebearers, developed strategies to compensate for the power advantage our predators had over us. That strategy, or first defense of the limbic system, was to use the freeze response in the presence of a predator or other danger. Freezing your movement can often make you nearly invisible to others, a phenomenon every soldier and SWAT team operator learns. Thus, the freeze response has been passed from primitive man to modern man and remains with us today as our first line of defense against a perceived threat or danger. In fact, you can still see this ancient limbic reaction to large felines in the theaters of Las Vegas where big cats are part of the show. As the tiger or lion walks onto the stage, you can be sure that the people in the first row will not be making any unnecessary arm or hand gestures. They will be frozen in their seats. These people were not issued memos to remain still; they did so because the limbic brain has prepared the human species to behave that way in the face of danger for over five million years. In our modern society, the freeze response is employed more subtly in everyday life. You can observe it when people are caught bluffing or stealing, or sometimes when they are lying. When people feel threatened or exposed, they react just like our ancestors did a million years earlier; they freeze. Not only have we, as humans, learned to freeze in the face of observed or perceived danger, but others around us have learned to copy our behavior and freeze their behavior also, even without seeing the threat. This mimicry or isopraxism (same movement) evolved because it was critical to communal survival, as well as social harmony, within the human species (see box 8 on next page). This freezing action is sometimes termed the â€Å"deer-in-the-headlights† effect. When suddenly caught in a potentially dangerous circumstance, we immediately freeze before taking action. It was amazing to see how we all reacted with â€Å"hands flash frozen† at precisely the same moment. It turned out that the visitor was my sister who had forgotten her keys. But of course we didn’t know it was her ringing the bell. It was a beautiful example of the hardwired communal response to perceived danger, and of the first limbic reaction, which is to freeze. Soldiers in combat react the same way. When the â€Å"point man† freezes, everyone freezes; nothing needs to be said. with the palm of his hand, before turning around and heading back to his apartment to turn off the stove. That momentary stop is enough for the brain to do some quick assessing, whether the threat comes in the form of a predator or of a thought remembered. Either way, the psyche must deal with a potentially dangerous situation (Navarro, 2007, 141– 163). We not only freeze when confronted by physical and visual threats, but as in the example of the late-night doorbell, threats from things we hear (aural threats) can also alert the limbic system. For instance, when being chastised, most people hold very still. The same behavior is observed when an individual is being questioned about matters that he or she perceives could get them into trouble. The person will freeze in his chair as if in an â€Å"ejector seat† (Gregory, 1999). A similar manifestation of the limbic freeze occurs during interviews when people hold their breath or their breathing becomes very shallow. Again, this is a very ancient response to a threat. It is not noticed by the interviewee and yet it is quite observable to anyone watching for it. I have LIVING OUR LIMBIC LEGACY 29 ften had to tell an interviewee to relax and take a deep breath during the middle of an interview or deposition, as he was unaware of just how shallow his breathing had become. Consistent with the need to freeze when confronted by a threat, people being questioned about a crime will often fix their feet in a position of security (interlocked behind the chair legs) and hold that position for an inordinate period of time. When I see this type o f behavior, it tells me something is wrong; this is a limbic response that needs to be further explored. The person may or may not be lying, since deceit cannot be directly discerned. But I can be assured from their nonverbal behavior that something is stressing them; therefore I will pursue the source of their discomfort through my questioning or interaction. Another way the limbic brain uses a modification of the freeze response is to attempt to protect us by diminishing our exposure. During surveillance of shoplifters, one of the things that stands out is how often thieves will try to hide their physical presence by restricting their motions or hunching over as if trying to be invisible. The â€Å"turtle effect† (shoulders rise toward the ears) is often seen when people are humbled or suddenly lose confidence. The Flight Response One purpose of the freeze response is to avoid detection by dangerous predators or in dangerous situations. A second purpose is to give the threatened individual the opportunity to assess the situation and determine the best course of action to take. When the freeze response is not adequate to eliminate the danger or is not the best course of action (e. g. , the threat is too close), the second limbic response is to get away by use of the flight response. Therefore, to this day, we expedite our exit from a deplorable party, distance ourselves from a bad relationship, or lean away from those who are deemed undesirable or even with whom we strongly disagree (see figure 5). Just as a man may turn away from his date, an individual in negotiations may shift away from his counterpart if he hears an unattractive offer or feels threatened as bargaining continues. Blocking behaviors may also be manifested; the businessperson may close or rub his eyes, or place his hands in front of his face (see figure 6). Eye blocking is a very powerful display of consternation, disbelief, or disagreement. world, however, acting on our rage may not be practical or even legal, so the limbic brain has developed other strategies beyond the more primitive physical fight response. One form of modern aggression is an argument. Although the original meaning of the term argument relates simply to a debate or discussion, the word is increasingly used to describe a verbal altercation. An overheated argument is essentially â€Å"fighting† by nonphysical means. The use of insults, ad hominem phrases, counterallegations, denigration of professional stature, goading, and sarcasm are all, in their own ways, the modern equivalents of fighting, because they are all forms of aggression. If you think about it, civil lawsuits can even be construed as a modern and socially sanctioned type of fight or aggression in which litigants aggressively argue two opposing viewpoints. While humans probably engage in physical altercations far less now than in other periods in our history, fighting is still a part of our limbic armory. When one country intrudes into the space of another, it often results in economic sanctions, severing of diplomatic relations, or even wars. Obviously, it is easy to recognize when someone uses the fight response to commit a physical assault. What I want to identify for you are the not-so-obvious ways in which individuals exhibit some of the more subtle behaviors associated with the fight response. Just as we have seen modified expressions of the freeze and flight limbic reactions, modern decorum dictates that we refrain from acting on our primitive inclinations to fight when threatened. In general, I advise people to refrain from using aggression (verbal or physical) as a means of achieving their objectives. Just as the fight response is the act of last resort in dealing with a threat—used only after the freeze and flight tactics have proven unworkable—so too should you avoid it whenever feasible. Aside from the obvious legal and physical reasons for this recommendation, aggressive tactics can lead to emotional turmoil, making it difficult to concentrate and think clearly about the threatening situation at hand. When we are emotionally aroused—and a good fight will do that—it affects our ability to think effectively. This happens because our cognitive abilities are hijacked so that the limbic brain can have full use of all available cerebral resources (Goleman, 1995, 27, 204–207). One of the best reasons for studying nonverbal behaviors is that they can sometimes warn you when a person intends to harm you physically, giving you time to avoid a potential conflict. On the other hand, when we feel distressed (discomfort), the limbic brain expresses nonverbal behavior that mirrors our negative state of being. Just watch people at the airport when a flight is canceled or delayed. Their bodies say it all. Therefore, we want to learn to look more closely at the comfort and discomfort behaviors we see every day and use them to assess for feelings, thoughts, and intentions. In general, when the limbic brain is in a state of comfort, this mental and physiological well-being is reflected in nonverbal displays of contentment and high confidence. When, however, the limbic brain is experiencing discomfort, the corresponding body language is characterized by behaviors emblematic of stress or low confidence. Knowledge of these â€Å"behavioral markers† or tells will help you determine what a person may be thinking, or how to act or what to expect when dealing with other people in any social or work context. In most instances, if she is using her right hand on her suprasternal notch, she will cup her right elbow with her left hand. When the stressful situation is over or there is an intermission in the uncomfortable part of the discussion, her right hand will lower and relax across her folded left arm. If the situation again becomes tense, her right hand will rise, once again, to the suprasternal notch. From a distance, the arm movement looks like the needle on a stress meter, moving from resting (on the arm) to the neck (upright) and back again, according to the level of stress experienced. I have a friend (as I am sure we all do) who can talk a mile a minute when nervous or upset. Some behaviors combine tactile and auditory pacification, such as the tapping of a pencil or the drumming of fingers. Excessive Yawning Sometimes we see individuals under stress yawning excessively. Yawning not only is a form of â€Å"taking a deep breath,† but during stress, as the mouth gets dry, a yawn can put pressure on the salivary glands. The stretch of various structures in and around the mouth causes the glands to release moisture into a dry mouth during times of anxiety. If they are doing leg cleansing, you will normally see the upper arm and shoulder moving in conjunction with the hand as it rubs along their leg. In my experience, I find the leg cleanser to be very significant because it occurs so quickly in reaction to a negative event. I have observed this action for years in cases when suspects are presented with damning evidence, such as pictures of a crime scene with which they are already familiar (guilty knowledge). This cleansing/pacifying behavior accomplishes two things at once. It dries sweaty palms and pacifies through tactile stroking. Everything was going well until, toward the end of the interview, the candidate began talking about networking and the importance of the Internet. The employer complimented him on this comment and made an offhand remark about how most college graduates used the Internet to network in a destructive way, using sites like Facebook to post messages and pictures that would prove to be an embarrassment later in the person’s life. At that point, the employer noticed that the candidate did a vigorous leg cleansing with his right hand, wiping it along his thigh several times. The employer said nothing at the time, thanked the young man for the interview, and walked him out of the office. He then returned to his computer—his suspicion aroused by the candidate’s pacifying behavior—and checked to see if the young man’s profile was on Facebook. Sure enough, it was. And it was not flattering! (see figure 17). This ventilating action is often a reaction to stress and is a good indicator that the person is unhappy with something he is thinking about or experiencing in his environment. The agent instantly understood the significance of the eyelid behavior he had witnessed, and from that moment forward the â€Å"minor† suspect became the primary person of interest in the investigation. He later confessed to the crime. Chalk one up for Joe Navarro, a remarkable human being who, in addition to unmasking the ice-pick killer, is credited with catching scores of criminals, including â€Å"master spies,† in a distinguished twenty-fiveyear career with the FBI. How was he able to do this? If you asked him, he quietly would say, â€Å"I owe it to being able to read people. Joe, it turns out, has spent his entire professional life studying, refining, and applying the science of nonverbal communications—facial expressions, gestures, physical movements (kinesics), body distance (proxemics), touching (haptics), posture, even clothing—to decipher what people are thinking, how they intend to act, and whether their pronouncements are true or false. This is not good news for criminals, terrorists, and spies, who, under his careful scrutiny, usually give off more than enough nonverbal body signals (â€Å"tells†) to make their thoughts and intentions transparent and detectable. It is, however, very good news for you, the reader, because the very same nonverbal knowledge Joe relied on to become a master â€Å"Spycatcher,† â€Å"human lie detector,† and instructor at the FBI is what he will be sharing with you so you can better understand the feelings, thoughts, and intentions of those around you. As a renowned author and educator, Joe will teach you how to observe like an expert, detecting and deciphering the nonverbal behaviors of others so you can interact with them more successfully. He is a consultant to the banking and insurance industries as well as to major law firms in the United States and abroad. Joe also teaches at Saint Leo University and at various medical schools throughout the United States, where his unique insights into nonverbal communication have found a receptive audience among many, including physicians desiring to assess patients with greater speed and accuracy. Joe’s combination of academic skills and occupational credentials—coupled with his masterful analysis of nonverbal communications in reallife, high-stakes situations—has placed him apart and in the forefront of nonverbal expertise, as you will discover in this book. After working with Joe, attending his seminars, and putting his ideas to work in my own life, I firmly believe that the material in these pages represents a major advance in our understanding of all things nonverbal. I say this as a trained psychologist who got involved in this writing project because I was excited by Joe’s pioneering work in harnessing the scientific knowledge of nonverbal communications to achieve professional objectives and personal success. I was also impressed by his reasoned, careful approach to the topic. For example, while observing nonverbals allows us to get an â€Å"accurate read† on many kinds of behavior, Joe warns us that using body language to detect deception is a particularly difficult and challenging task. Following the Ten Commandments for Observing and Decoding Nonverbal Communications Successfully Reading people successfully—collecting nonverbal intelligence to assess their thoughts, feelings, and intentions—is a skill that requires constant practice and proper training. To help you on the training side, I want to provide you with some important guidelines—or commandments—to maximize your effectiveness in reading nonverbals. As you incorporate these commandments into your everyday life and make them part of your routine, they soon will become second nature to you, needing little, if any, conscious thought. It’s a lot like learning to drive. Do you remember the first time you gave that a go? If you were like me, you were so concerned with operating the vehicle that it was difficult to track what you were doing inside the car and concentrate on what was happening on the road outside at the same time. It was only when you felt comfortable behind the wheel that you were able to expand your focus to encompass the total driving environment. That’s the way it is with nonverbal behavior. Once you master the mechanics of using nonverbal communication effectively, it will become automatic and you can focus your full attention on decoding the world around you. Commandment 1: Be a competent observer of your environment. This is the most basic requirement for anyone wishing to decode and use nonverbal communications. Imagine the foolishness of trying to listen to someone with plugs in our ears. We couldn’t hear the message and whatever was said would be lost on us. Thus, most intent listeners don’t go around wearing earplugs! The problem is that most people spend their lives looking but not truly seeing, or, as Sherlock Holmes, the meticulous English detective, declared to his partner, Dr. Watson, â€Å"You see, but you do not observe. † Sadly, the majority of individuals view their surroundings with a minimal amount of observational effort. Such people are oblivious to subtle changes in their world. They are unaware of the rich tapestry of details that surrounds them, such as the subtle movement of a person’s hand or foot that might betray his thoughts or intentions. In fact, various scientific studies have demonstrated people to be poor observers of their world. For example, when a man dressed in a gorilla suit walked in front of a group of students while other activities were taking place, half the students didn’t even notice the gorilla in their midst (Simons Chabris, 1999, 1059–1074)! Observation-impoverished individuals lack what airline pilots refer to as â€Å"situational awareness,† which is a sense of where one is at all times; they don’t have a solid mental picture of exactly what is going on around them or even in front of them. After all, as we grow from children to adults, we’re never instructed on how to observe the nonverbal clues of others. There are no classes in elementary school, high school, or college that teach people situational awareness. If you’re lucky, you teach yourself to be more observant. If you don’t, you miss out on an incredible amount of useful information that could help you avoid problems and make your life more fulfilling, be it when dating, at work, or with family. Fortunately, observation is a skill that can be learned. We don’t have to go through life being blindsided. Furthermore, because it is a skill, we can get better at it with the right kind of training and practice. If you are observationally â€Å"challenged,† do not despair. You can overcome your weakness in this area if you are willing to devote time and effort to observing your world more conscientiously. What you need to do is make observation—concerted observation—a way of life. Becoming aware of the world around you is not a passive act. It is a conscious, deliberate behavior—something that takes effort, energy, and concentration to achieve, and constant practice to maintain. Observation is like a muscle. It grows stronger with use and atrophies without use. Exercise your observation muscle and you will become a more powerful decoder of the world around you. By the way, when I speak of concerted observation, I am asking you to utilize all your senses, not just your sense of sight. Whenever I walk into my apartment, I take a deep breath. If things don’t smell â€Å"normal† I become concerned. One time I detected the slight odor of lingering cigarette smoke when I returned home from a trip. My nose alerted me to possible danger well before my eyes could scan my apartment. When trying to understand nonverbal behavior in real-life situations, the more you understand the context in which it takes place, the better you will be at understanding what it means. For example, after a traffic accident, I expect people to be in shock and to walk around looking dazed. I expect their hands to shake and even for them to make poor decisions like walking into oncoming traffic. (This is why officers ask you to stay in your car. ) Why? After an accident, people are suffering the effects of a complete hijacking of the â€Å"thinking† brain by a region of the brain known as the limbic system. The result of this hijacking includes behaviors such as trembling, disorientation, nervousness, and discomfort. In context, these actions are to be expected and confirm the stress from the accident. During a job interview, I expect applicants to be nervous initially and for that nervousness to dissipate. If it shows up again when I ask specific questions, then I have to wonder why these nervous behaviors have suddenly presented again. Commandment 3: Learn to recognize and decode nonverbal behaviors that are universal. Some body behaviors are considered universal because they are exhibited similarly by most people. For instance, when people press their lips together in a manner that seems to make them disappear, it is a clear and common sign that they are troubled and something is wrong. This nonverbal behavior, known as lip compression, is one of the universal tells that I will be describing in the chapters to follow (see box 4). The more of these universal nonverbals you can recognize and accurately interpret, the more effective you will be in assessing the thoughts, feelings, and intentions of those around you. That way I could more closely watch the corporate negotiator for any nonverbals that might reveal information helpful to my client. I’ll pass you a note if I spot something that needs your attention,† I told my client and then settled back to watch the parties review the contract clause by clause. I didn’t have long to wait before I saw an important tell. When a clause detailing the outfitting of a specific part of the vessel was read—a construction phase involving millions of dollars—the chief negotiator from the multinational corporation pursed his lips, a clear indication that something in this part of the contract was not to his liking. I passed a note to my client, warning him that this particular clause in the contract was contentious or problematic and should be revisited and discussed thoroughly while we were all still together. By confronting the issue then and there—and focusing on the details of the clause in question—the two negotiators were able to hammer out an agreement face-to-face, which ended up saving my client 13. 5 million dollars. The negotiator’s nonverbal signal of displeasure was the key evidence needed to spot a specific problem and deal with it immediately and effectively. Learn to recognize and decode idiosyncratic nonverbal behaviors. Universal nonverbal behaviors constitute one group of body cues: those that are relatively the same for everyone. There is a second type of body cue called an idiosyncratic nonverbal behavior, which is a signal that is relatively unique to a particular individual. In attempting to identify idiosyncratic signals, you’ll want to be on the lookout for behavioral patterns in people you interact with on a regular basis (friends, family, coworkers, persons who provide goods or services to you on a consistent basis). The better you know an individual, or the longer you interact with him or her, the easier it will be to discover this information because you will have a larger database upon which to make your judgments. For example, if you note your teenager scratches his head and bites his lip when he is about to take a test, this may be a reliable idiosyncratic tell that speaks of his nervousness or lack of preparation. No doubt this has become part of his repertoire for dealing with stress, and you will see it again and again because â€Å"the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. When you interact with others, try to establish their baseline behaviors. In order to get a handle on the baseline behaviors of the people with whom you regularly interact, you need to note how they look normally, how they typically sit, where they place their hands, the usual position of their feet, their posture and common facial expressions, the tilt of their heads, and even where they generally place or hold their possessions, such as a purse (see figures 1 and 2). You need to be able to differentiate between their â€Å"normal† face and their â€Å"stressed† face. Not getting a baseline puts you in the same position as parents who never look down their child’s throat until the youngster gets sick. They call the doctor and try to describe what they see inside, but they have no means of making a comparison because they never looked at the child’s throat when he or she was healthy. By examining what’s normal, we begin to recognize and identify what’s abnormal. Even in a single encounter with someone, you should attempt to note. A stressed face is tense and slightly contorted, eyebrows are knitted, and the forehead is furrowed. his or her â€Å"starting position† at the beginning of your interaction. Establishing a person’s baseline behavior is critical because it allows you to determine when he or she deviates from it, which can be very important and informative (see box 5). Commandment 6: Always try to watch people for multiple tells—behaviors that occur in clusters or in succession. Your accuracy in reading people will be enhanced when you observe multiple tells, or clusters of behavior body signals on which to rely. Your son’s deviation from his previous behavior suggests that something negative might have occurred between him and his uncle since their last meeting. Perhaps it was a simple disagreement, the awkwardness of youth, or a reaction to the uncle’s preferential treatment of others. Then again, this behavior might indicate something much more sinister. The point is that a change in a person’s baseline behavior suggests that something might be amiss and, in this particular case, probably warrants further attention. A child who is exhibiting giddiness and delight at the prospect of entering a theme park will change his behavior immediately upon learning the park is closed. Adults are no different. When we get bad news over the phone or see something that can hurt us, our bodies reflect that change immediately. Changes in a person’s behavior can also reveal his or her interest or intentions in certain circumstances. Careful observation of such changes can allow you to predict things before they happen, clearly giving you an advantage—particularly if the impending action could cause harm to you or others.